Things I Hated about the Trip

1) Losing my way to NASA - Lost an hour here, going in the wrong direction. Google Maps to blame for showing the wrong address.

2) Losing my way to Miami - The Gramin GPS is good in destinations but not great in directions. Was missing my TomTom, which at-least had the directions right but screwed up the destination. Gramin maps were a total disaster, half the roads were missing. Lost 2 hours there going around in circles around the Florida Turnpike south and paying the same toll again and again.

3) Hectic drive schedule - In the last 3 days, i had almost had less than 8 hours of sleep. Saturday it was an hour and a half, Sunday was 4 hours and Monday Sleepless. And in this state now i am sitting in the airport waiting for my flight at 4:40 AM in the morning and writing this in my notebook at 3:30. The trip meter of my car shows 1265.5 Miles Gosh...only if i get a cozy bed now.

4) The Party Hot South Beach - Skimpy dressed Chicas, A Line up of restaurants, Booze flowing around, Dances and Night clubs blaring with music, People waiting to get in, there was one hell of a party on Saturday Night at South beach. But Contrary to the popular opinion, not my type of a vacation. I know this statement will be contended by a lot of folks who know me.

5) The Dive - Even though the dive was wonderful, certain things could have been better. One I was sea-sick, and almost felt like throwing up but it was due due to the rough sea and the rocking boat. Two, I was not allowed to take photographs under-water. I have spent almost 20-30 bucks for buying a waterproof camera and a water proof Dicapac case. There is no evidence that i actually did the dive, nor i can share the beauty of the reef from my eyes.

6) The Dive again - Learnt a lesson, that SCUBA is not child's play. Was real tough but it was all worth it. For starters once inside the water, the pressure hits you from all directions and to equalize the pressure in the ear and to keep it from hurting, you gotta keep exhaling by holding your nose to release the pressure in your ears. Like blowing your nose. If you do it a little hard there is a chance the ear-drum may break.

If Water gets inside the mask you gotta blow your nose with the Mask on (Nasty), The Mask was almost hurting me since it was of the wrong size.

You gotta keep checking the depth and the amount of Oxygen left in the cylinder. Gotta keep inhaling and exhaling hard, to keep your lungs from collapsing under the pressure. Gotta inflate and deflate, the dive suit to keep it steady and you gotta always watch out for the rough seas, when you come to the surface.

And there is more risk of hurting oneself while you get on to the boat. And you gotta concentrate and be alert since that is not our world and we are not even supposed to be there.

But in all this mess, there is only a very little time for one to actually enjoy the dive, but that little time whatever it was was truly worth the effort.

Also the swimming rules don't apply for diving, in-fact diving is the opposite of swimming. You Gotta keep yourself hydrated by drinking a lot of water. Eat Cookies to keep the salt water off your mouth, and doing both these made me squeamish, almost felt like throwing up on the deck.

My eyes are still burning with Salt water and my iron bracelet is totally rusty now.

7) Hell Lot of unnecessary expenses - That were not a part of the plan, like anywhere you have to park, you gotta pay. Spent $100 for parking alone... Spent $30 on the tolls, spent $30 more for all the wrong directions i took. Spent almost $200 on food, which was very expensive and not planned for. Spent a $80 for the taxi, spent another $100 for the delayed return of my rented car, spent $30 on the waterproof camera which i didn't use. The food at Whale Harbor in Islamorada made me feel like i gotta puke...And for that spent another useless $30.

8) Missing the Flight - Didn't know that Orlando had 3 airports all starting with the word "Orlando". Went to Sanford 30 mins before the flight rushing to realize that i am in the wrong airport. The right Airport was 45 mins away in the same direction i came from...But didn't lose money here since i got another flight with no cost....but lost one more night's sleep. As i am writing this sitting in the airport waiting for my flight...Its almost time to leave...It is 4:00 AM and the flight is at 4:40, the security check queue is getting longer...Gotta go now.

Florida Trip

Waiting Waiting and Waiting at the airport. It was a crazy trip and can't wait to return home after the hectic schedule i have put myself through. Last 3 days were the least to say complete crazy.

10 Things i Enjoyed in the trip

1) One Single Brain - I Mean there was no-one else in the trip with me. So it was pretty easy for me to follow my schedule, however taxing it was for me. Sure had i had any other sane brain with my crazy one, i would not have covered half the things which i did cover.

2) Getting some space - After an hectic drive which took me to the wrong destination and made me to lose an hour on the schedule, finally i was in NASA learning a little bit more about programmes which once we would have thought impossible. We in the sense i mean Human Race.

3) The Lunar Section - of NASA was the best the story of the astronauts and the sheer courage of the men who came up with the concept of sending a man to the moon was awe-inspiring. Neil Armstrong would have become the first person to die on the moon if not for his timely decision making skills will give the fake corporate decision makers, like me, a run for the money.

4) Touched the Moon Rock - Did no feel a thing about the moon rock, was like touching any other stone. But the sheer magnitude of doing such a thing was wonderful at the back of my mind.

5) Standing in between four magnificent Rockets - In the Rocket Garden of NASA, makes one feel small. Yes, Rocket science is much simpler than the so called Consulting and its variations.

6) Getting ready to go Under Sea - The Rainbow Reef divers, were a wonderful set of people. They made my trip. It was exciting getting ready for my first dive in the sea. Just hanging around the Rainbow reef office in Key Largos, with the fellow divers, clicking the pics of a bunch of pelicans gobbling the catch of the day from the fisher folks, getting trained in the pool of Marriott hotel on SCUBA, just lazing around watching the Pelicans, Fishermen, Great looking Yachts. This was the only time i had for relaxation in the entire trip. And yes there was a Hot pool...where i was just lazing around.

7) The Dive - It was miles into the sea, in the Pennekamp, oops, Lord Pennekamp Marine Sanctuary that we took the dive. Thanks to Mike and Tammy, my instructors. Thanks to the wonderful team members of the crew who helped me with the suit and the cylinders. Getting the gear on was tough. This was an moment i would remember for the rest of my life.

I was carrying enough weight on me that it was tough to even walk without any support, but once inside the water i started feeling very light. The ocean was restless, there was a strong wind and the boat was almost rocking like hell, that it would make anyone sea-sick.

The 2 seconds before you step into the sea, with your weight on, cylinders on, barely able to walk carrying all this, webbed feet making it even more difficult to walk, looking straight, not holding anything for support, One hand on your mask, One hand on your weight belt, standing on the edge of the boat with your finned heels and stepping right leg forward as if it is solid ground, only to find it is not and falling head down into the sea. A moment which i cannot forget.

8) Inside the seas - Once you are in, it is a different world. Felt like being in a big aquarium. And i had this strange feeling that all the fishes, big or small, were looking at me. I felt like a fish myself. A big fish in a big pond. If talking of colors, this will be the most colorful spot in the world. Even though my stupid mind was thinking two-dimensional in the seas all dimensions open up.

It took some time for me to realize i can swim in any direction, even upside down, than just going straight.

Saw a huge ray fish waiting in the sand for its prey, some really huge fishes which i don't know the name of, a huge green Murray Eel of the size of my arm, A Barracuda swimming past me, A Lobster which Mike was trying to catch just to show us, A Parrot fish, A school of bright blue colored fishes surrounding me, the Corals which responded to the clicking noise, sea shells which were actually moving in the deep, Crabs, Dead Crabs indicating the presence of an Octopus, it felt like i was in a fucking paradise to swim around the coral reef.

The tough part being to take care that we don't step on the reef, for they feel pain like the way we do and when we step on them they feel like someone is ripping their skin off.

Did the dive in two places, One in French Pass and the second one i don't remember as i was too sea sick to listen to what the Captain was saying.

9) The South Beach - This i would rate as one of the lowest points in the trip, since i was rushing for time and was not able to take a dip in the cool waters of South beach. Not even a bit of time to relax. Where Topless sun-bathing is the norm, there i was not even having the time to put the swimsuit on. :-) . Not even in a Beachwear, and the worst of all fully clothed ;-). But the Beach was beautiful in all aspects...Ahem. Beauty does not lie in the eyes of the beholder, it lies in South Beach, Miami.

10) Key West - After the dive sitting in the Conch Republic, with blackened snapper in my plate, A Mojito to drink, listening to a Spanish band, this was a cool place to relax. It was the only worthy sea-food which i ever had in the whole trip after trying the disastrous Lobster Crepes and Flash fried Calamari at the Whale Harbor in Islamorada.

Avatar - A series of Impossible events

1) There is a planet called Pandora - OK agreed, Every sci-fi movie
should have some other planet where life exists.

2) There is a alien tribe called Navi, which exists in that planet -
What fun is a planet in a sci-fi movie which does not have aliens in
it...Agreed too

3) There is a 5 months hyper sleep which a person needs
to go through to reach Pandora from Earth - I have seen Aliens, so the
concept of hypersleep is not new...after all this is a Cameroon movie.

4) There is a Human camp in Pandora, with all the equipments mind can
think of - This is fetching the story a little far away...But still
agreed

5) There is a Mineral called unobtainium - OMG,,,wait let me
digest this information

6) There is a project called Avatar - OK the
title suggests that

7) You can get into the Avatar by getting into a
jelly mass bed an closing your own coffin shaped stuff - Wait did i
hear it right...What kind of technology is that ...Should This movie be
retitled - A series of impossible events.

8) Things does not stop there - There is Eywa to come in the picture,
there is a Ikran, There is a Horse which you connect to and there is
all supernatural stuff the mind cannot imagine...

With all these impossibilities, revealed one after the another...the
movie unfolds with dramatic technology usage and a storyline which is
perfect till the end.

Only Cameroon could pull such series of impossibilities and spun them
into a story without affecting the storyline in anyway. Hats Off...This
is the Holy grail of all Sci-fi movies.

Avatar - A series of Impossible events

1) There is a planet called Pandora - OK agreed, Every sci-fi movie
should have some other planet where life exists.

2) There is a alien tribe called Navi, which exists in that planet -
What fun is a planet in a sci-fi movie which does not have aliens in
it...Agreed too 3) There is a 5 months hyper sleep which a person needs
to go through to reach Pandora from Earth - I have seen Aliens, so the
concept of hypersleep is not new...after all this is a Cameroon movie.

4) There is a Human camp in Pandora, with all the equipments mind can
think of - This is fetching the story a little far away...But still
agreed 5) There is a Mineral called unobtainium - OMG,,,wait let me
digest this information 6) There is a project called Avatar - OK the
title suggests that 7) You can get into the Avatar by getting into a
jelly mass bed an closing your own coffin shaped stuff - Wait did i
hear it right...What kind of technology is that ...Should This movie be
retitled - A series of impossible events.

8) Things does not stop there - There is Eywa to come in the picture,
there is a Ikran, There is a Horse which you connect to and there is
all supernatural stuff the mind cannot imagine...

With all these impossibilities, revealed one after the another...the
movie unfolds with dramatic technology usage and a storyline which is
perfect till the end.

Only Cameroon could pull such series of impossibilities and spun them
into a story without affecting the storyline in anyway. Hats Off...This
is the Holy grail of all Sci-fi movies.

Reasons why Hangover 2 is terribly funny

1) It is terribly funny, that a whole movie can be a spoiler. Had you seen part 1, this is a carbon copy of that...except the tiger is replaced by a monkey and Vegas is replaced by Bangkok....andd hey hold on...Allen also gets his head shaved...how F%%%g amazing and different.

2) It is terribly funny, that the movie was able to pull off with a Thai cast, that did not know the basics of acting...especially Mason Lee (Teddy) looked like he was having a vacation with a smile on his face always. Very polite of him that even after losing his finger he was happily smiling and exchanging niceties with his fellow hooligans.

3) It is terribly funny, that the movie makes you puke...the glitz and glamour of Vegas is replaced with the slums of Bangkok, the Sl%%y beauatiful chicks of Vegas are replaced by a bunch of Trannies, and of course the tiger is replaced by a monkey that can smoke....How funny.

4) It is terribly funny, that the entire movie can be a harrasment and goofy, slapstick so called comedies which make one gruntle than laugh....Monks are harassed, underaged kids harassed and even the spectators get harrased.


5) It is terribly funny, that we chose this movie over Kung Fu panda 2 over the memorial weekend on the very first day.

Wrestlemania 27

It has been a dream to watch the WWF, as it was previously called, in STAR Sports. Scary guys coming out of a grave and beating the crap outta everyone...man whoever came up with this concept cannot be a genius but should be streetsmart and knew a thing or two int the entertainment industry.

But it took me 5 more years to figure out that it is fake and 15 more years to get a pass to the great Wrestlemania 27 at Atlanta GA. From the days when we used to bunk our Maths coaching classes and get into our friends home to watch WWF, here we are watching the biggest event in WWE (As it is now called) on stage.

So our plan was to leave Salem and head to Atlanta in the morning, but thanks to the big ticket WC cricket finals (Another event which was worth missing your schedules for) our schedule was delayed by 8 hrs. And after Dhoni cleared the ropes and got us our second world cup in style, deighted and on top of the world, we started off to Wrestlemania 27.

We took an pitstop in Charlotte NC, for the night, and after enjoying some Indian food in Saffron restaurent, staying overnight in Charlotte, and once again with a delayed schedule we did finally start off on a long drive to Atlanta.

And this time is not like any other Wrestling event. First of all it is Wrestlemania, one of the biggest events in WWE. Second it is hosted by the Rock, the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment. Third it had the big ticket game between Triple H and the Undertaker. Yes, the same old awe inspiring Undertaker who used to come out of the grave. And Third, it featured the Texas rattlesnake, the Stone cold Steve Austin. I cannot ask for anything more than this.

Reaching Atlanta late in the evening, we were 10 mins late to the event when it started. After the initial games were over involving unknown names, there came the Edge Vs some Random guy game which Edge won. After that there was Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Kane, Trish and the Big Show.

Now came the interesting part with Stone cold steve Austin driving his fancy bikes into the Arena and beating the crap outta Michael Kole. Beer Guzzling and delivering a stunner to whoever came on the ring. This time the stunner was delivered to Booker T and that Sucka was not able to Dig that.

This was followed by the match eveyone was waiting for Triple H and the Undertaker in a no holds barred game. There the Undertaker established his 19th Win in Wrestlemania, which is a record in WWE beating Triple H out.

And the final game was John Cena Vs. the Miz. As we expected there was the Rocky chant in the air, expecting the Rock to intevene. But he was never to be found. We had our SLR ready (Off course Dev was sitting with me and wondering if the Rock will come at all). He was bored with the entire wreslting thing and was concentrating more on his Veggie Cheese pizza from Papa Johns. And voila we hear the music now "If you smell what the Rock is cooking", and here he is the most electrifying man electrifying the arena filled with 71,000 crazy people.

The Rock came, gave his usual electrifying speech and delivered the smacketh down and the Peoples elbow to John Cena and the Miz respectively. They said the Miz won the championship but the true winner was the Rock. There was no difference in watching it on TV vs watching it live since the whole event was very well co-ordinated, it felt as if we were watching it on the TV.

So we missed a nights sleep (driving back), couple of boring calls to offshore where the same stuff gets discussed for days and days and days, half a day of work (Now how do i log my efforts), where days feels like years, and the usual Monday morning Diatribes to get a glimpse of our favorite Superstars and to shout at the top of our lungs "If you Smell what the Rock is cooking".

P.S. - Thanks to Dev, who was driving for most of our Night time at 30+ over the speed limit to get us back to office on time. Otherwise i would not have written this post.

Verbal Vampires

Ever wondered how it feels like to be a Vampire. The phenomenon in question is also something similar, but here instead of sucking the blood out of people you learn to suck another valuable resource from them, which is even more costlier than blood, their Time. Sounds wonderful.

And when the Vampire gets a taste of you, you too become a vampire. Similarly Verbal Vampirism is also highly contagious and a very effective phenomenon which can spread like wildfire once it gets hold of a person. Resilient and Highly Contagious...Once it gets hold of a brain its almost impossible to eradicate. When it is fully formed -fully understood - it sticks right in there somewhere

So if you have a question...Where do i start ...Right here and right now. Have the five golden rules in your mind and you will be the next Verbal Dracula.

Thats the introduction, now let us analyze this phenomenon of being a Verbal Vampire . To define the term, it can be defined as "Talking...Talking and Talking...little action...and again talking...And more importantly there should not be any ideas or concepts in your talks. The Talking should be for the sole purpose of gaining airtime for you and very important you should waste the time of the people around you".

And when practiced properly it will result in either a promotion if you are in a job, or it will provide you a job if you use this in group discussions, and if you are a student it can give you admission into some B schools.

Five Golden rules to start with your practice... you dont have to be a expert...just be with the flow

1) Be redundant - Nobody will realize what you said is redundant. State the obvious, in a more eloborate manner. Or if someone in the discussion had come up with a good point...restate it in a different manner. For example if someone says we can follow the waterfall methodology for this engagement...dont just say OK and stop. Say "Yes you are right...I think it should be a good idea ...if we can follow the Waterfall methodology for this engagement...". Now you gained more airtime.

2) Use Kicks - A kick is a filler, which comes handy and a very useful tool for Vampires. It is redundant repetition of words which are effective in a cumulative manner in wasting the time of others. For example instead of saying a simple "Yes" say it five times "Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes" or a simple "OK...OK...OK...OK...OK". This technique is called as the Why-5-Hi-Fi technique. This can be used if you do not have anything to say but you want to acknowledge something which someone else just said in a more emphatic fashion. It will not only provide more airtime for you..which you dont deserve ...but also give the sucker who is listening to you a feeling that you completely understood him/her.

And another technique to use for kicks is to use fillers like Basically, Actually, probably, factually, effectively, probabilistically, hmmm, huhhhh, welllll etc. This technique is called as the "Mentally ..hmmmm...welll...how can i say...actually it is called as ....Actually.....huhh.. i dont have a name basically...Wellll....Will be great....huhhhh...if you can give some suggestions....if basically actually, and economically feasible you are fine with"...

3) Desperate participation - This is a golden rule if you want to be a real vampire. This is what differentiates a rookie from a lestat or a dracula...Always and remember Always ...and trust me always... use the few extra hours or minutes of others. For example if you are in a class of 45 mins duration...Use the last 4.5 or 9 mins after the class is over for your discussion with the prof. Extend the class....The rookies will first object...but it is only a matter of time before they fall into your place...and they will also do the same in due course of time. The class should be over when you start this desperate participation of yours.. If you are in a meeting for 30 mins extend it with your nonsense for the next 6 mins of desperate participation. If you work for 8 hours use 2 more hours after the work hours to catch hold of someone to listen to you. The thumb rule is 20% of the time given to you should be extended...This will give others a feeling that for you work is more important than time...They will beleive that you dont mind running the extra mile when in reality you are making others run two miles for you on your behalf.

4) Actions ...to accompany - Remember "Words speak louder than Actions", but the right actions should always accompany your words...First and foremost...There should be action when there is no word...In a discussion you cannot be the person who always talks...sometimes others also talk...But to be a Vampire lord, you should be a action man when others talk....like repeating the last few words they say...Or like nodding your head vigorously...like if you were in a rockshow...or like converting what they speak into actions...imagine your kid when she is reciting a nursery rhyme...Actions are important. This nodding of the head is a very useful technique...if you are nodding your whole body along with the head even better...It not only gives a feeling that you completely understood them but also acts as a exercise for your neck.

5) When there is Vaccum - Vaccum is a phenomenon in which you have run out of words and actions...it occurs to everyone...First thing to do when you are in a vaccum is to understand it is normal phenomenon and every master vampire goes through it. How to overcome it?...When you dont have anyone to talk to there is your laptop.... Get into it...Shoot your mails to everyone you might know...asking for something or other.....make sure that the mail is sent in weird hours of the day like sunday evening 7:00 o clock, late night 12:00 o clock, Saturday night 2:00 clock, after you are done with your party etc. And when you are going through Vaccum, remember to run around to people or schedule random meetings , talk to them, and keep running around meeting new people...it is also a good exercise to run around. And even then if the vaccum is not filled there is a ready solution...Weather...look at the predictions of weather for a week and start your smalltalk on that. Or if the Weather is not exciting get hold of something which is exciting from google...sure there should be something available.

The post is entirely co-incidental and random ..not to say poorly prepared...and will definitely have some resemblences to people living or dead...The thumb rule of a disclaimer is : "If it resembles you it is co-incidental...and if it resembles others it is incdental. :-)"